Take my breath away..

Time to Hold On..

2008-11-27T17:39:00.001-08:00

Seven blasts rock Bangalore..!!
Ahmadabad hit by 17 blast!!!
18 bombs failed to blow in Surat..
Another live bomb found..!

Mumbai Attack - Terrorist strike at heart!!

I switched off the laptop. Put on my Ipod and and started humming away 'Kabhi kabhi Aditi.." A friend came home and we started our regular round of jokes, having food watching something on laptop. Someone mentioned the bombings. The moment silence was broken by loud chewing of food by rather bulky roomie. Someone mentioned Bachhan's tour of US leading to, as all discussions go, an animated discussion on how Himesh Reshamiya is arguably the most happening singer in the country. After having food, talking to parents I retired for the day. Today, the boaster of the soundest sleep in any conditions found the air conditoning to be less than perfect, bed bit dusty. It took me few minutes more than longer to sleep.
Kaise koi muskuraye. Kaise hasde Khush hoke..
Kaise koi soch le –
Everything's gonna be ok..

Remember the feeling when you are terribly hungry and are feeling terribly irky. With slightest of provocations you snap. Isn't that feeling accompanied by the knowledge that you just need to satiate yourself with some food? Remember that feeling when you are eating the lousiest piece of bread and you desperately need a liquid to help you gulp down a rather unyielding morsel. Don't your arms unknowingly look around by themselves for a sec before you fetch water? What if they never arrive?

The reaction to such horrendous acts has changed over the period of time. The usual barbs at the failure of government and politicians have been accompanied with varied reactions. The skeptics have questioned the motives and have laid suspicions on political motives. Few suggest extreme steps against such agencies of corruption while others have tired of being leeched dry the development efforts, have resigned to the fact that this barbarism will never end. These point of views have been felt, heard and even endorsed by us at length for me to dwell much on it. This continuous harbingers of terror have prompted various interesting opinions. Then there have been few like this colleague of mine, who have been used philosophy to tranquilize their insecurities. The movie which has everyone raving "The Dark Knight" has a tagline- Can you fight evil without being a part of it?

This school of thought seeks to find solutions to this perennial despair, within us. Classical society demanded the individuals who draw from it also work towards building it. Each action, activity or decision taken is completely for personal gain. It questions the efforts we are making at individual level to conserve the resources that world is short of and thereby resulting in a fight for survival.

Then there are few who put their faith in technologically out witting them. "Cant we devise something that facilitates instant detection of bombs?" someone says with a plea in his voice. Another guy dismisses it and has a rather comical suggestion, "I suggest we should sell them bombs that we would be able to detect without mentioning in the brochure." Well, all I can say is that the guy was a Patel. "And perhaps sell the detecting equipments to the government." he adds thoughtfully. I guess times like this are always congenial to such humor. Another point of view, of course, is to forget the whole deal completely and move on as it never happened. Something my roomies have perfected, I think. The point these guys make is that media makes the situation worse and if we let the thing get to us we would only be encouraging what these people seek. "Don't bother. Its just not worth it." they say. Fair enough, but then again the realization that it could be our families next or the images in the news of a 10 year old child with blood on his body, crying desperately refuse to let the thing go by.

People may or may not voice their opinions aloud but the fact remains that every such incident takes away a bit of us. I do have a personal take on the whole affair though. I think its time to hold on-

Its time to hold on to the belief that there is enough good in the world to outdo the evil. To hold onto the conviction with which we watch movies that good will triumph in the end. It is best summarized by the words of certain Annelies Marie Frank more famously known as Anne Frank who lived for long enough through Nazi terror to feel far worse than we do now. "It's difficult in times like these: ideals, dreams and cherished hopes rise within us, only to be crushed by grim reality. It's a wonder I haven't abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart." she says. We do have something that can never be taken away from us. Our friendship. Now such fairytale terms in light of dark tragedies do seem more suited to school kids but therein lies the key. I think best way to comfort ourselves and confront this issue is to remind us that this world has created wonderful set of people so we do have something to hold on to.

Morgan Freeman once famously said, "Hope is a good thing. Perhaps the best of things." Perhaps bit of all the approaches would be the perfect recipe to live through these era of human fascism. Don't mind if the chocolate bar is bitter. Just use technology to make it taste better. Make fun of its funny taste rather than complaining. And most importantly do not forget that there are many awesome chocolate bars in the world!

2008-06-07T10:05:00.000-07:00

A promising morning in Boston..

On a very promising looking morning here in Boston today. I feel good.
Something is different about the air today as if it carries something with it that I seek..

Today it looks like its going to rain yet the air does not carry the gloom
but memories of rain struck 26 July where a group of four people had time of their lives.
I can remember the taste of excellent Kanda Bhaji cooked for us by a wonderful lady, the phone, the soggy bags, the pole dance, Pooja's determination to be an excellent host,
Komal's laughter and Himanshu's jokes..

Standing in the balcony I see the cars zipping by.
I wonder if any one of them has a Chirag driving it merrily from Mulund to Chembur
with a certain Himanshu changing the songs with half an eye on the road
I wonder if any of those will have to wait for a certain Pooja at the depot for 10 good minutes
I wonder if any one of them wud turn the music loud as they near the college, just to show off..

I decide to take a walk on this lovely day and as I take the stairs,
I hear howls of laughter and discussions of beamers and
Vishwanath telling me how wonderful water tastes in my house with
Mehul requesting another glass, Santosh with news of TCS placement, Sunil listening intently
Its 8am in the morning and I find it longing to turn 5pm for a round of Pingpong at Anirudh's..

I take the road and I see a boy no more than 7 walking in shadows of a girl
I remember fascination of a certain blue eyed with auburn dyed hair boy
and his heart beating tad faster coz he got a call from someone "aise hi"
He eagerly shares with his partner Abhijeet till the first bencher arrives..

I reach a bus stop with the now familiar gang of Chinese students waiting
In them I find two teddy bears, a Panda, a snow bear and a deer and a peacock waiting for a 399
The snow bear not getting into 382, peacock snatching he- teddy's bag,
deer and panda gossiping, she-teddy and peacock singing
My view is blocked by the arriving bus then the Chinese avatars of
Bhavin, Sapana, Pinki, Komal, Pooja and Chirag are gone..

I walk back home and route back has a certain bend that brings back memoirs of me walking an angel home
I see myself walking past a bar in the gully and ask her for umpteenth time if she carries a spray
and get the usual can-take-care-of-myself smile from Richa.
I confess something stupid done by me earlier in the day
I brace myself for the scolding but as I open my eyes all I see are the leaves gushed by the wind

The rain finally does come and I find myself flinching, accepting and then enjoying
Music on my ipod changes to "Chak dum dum" and i find myself surrounded by the dancing gang
with lane of Boston changes to one in Ganpatipule and the company goes wild
Laugh of the face of an elderly female makes Heeral, Poonam, Sayali turn into roadside bushes

I come back home, dry up and open the fridge, get refrigerated food placed in a tiffin box,
turn around and I see myself in SE Comps, with Sneha telling me that I arrived bit late for her dhoklas, Abhijeet's idlis while Himanshu happily gulps away his neatly cut rotis and sabji.
My face spreads into a smile when Namrata offers me her sabudana kichdi..
I come back to my class see Kevin offering Bourbon to Amit. I snatch
it only to find myself holding a packet with no one to fight for it..

I see Srini showing something to Jaina and Ankita
and I see some Gugan Thoppe telling me and Neha his idea on the poster
Neha makes quick suggestions, I endorse few concepts dismissing others
only for Gugan to look at us and say "huh?" I look at Neha and we
laugh..only to realise that it is Jaina and Anki laughing..

Srini and Neha start arguing and I find myself raising a hand
I refute an argument and find Divya endorsing my statement
The smile on Harshad's face, with the audience applause gets my adrenaline is high
And I make quick retorts only to find Neha looking bemused..

I get a call from Hardik,we discuss plans for the evening. I hang up yet cant get off the hang-over
I still am holding the phone to my ears and find myself discussing with Rahul
whats new with Rajesh and Sarfu, how to get Rasesh on time at Mihir's
place and how we forgot Bhavik's birthday again,
the talk comes to studies and I brace myself for Rahul's doubtfires but they never arrive..

I get dressed, look at the table with no food on it and I hear mom saying -
"Its coming. Get every thing ready." I cant help shouting "Mamma I am getting late. I am going"
I stand by door hoping to find mom coming running with a glass of milk
in one hand and plate of sandwich in another,
hoping to get in as much as she can and round it up with handful of Almonds in my palm.
I bend forward to kiss her, hug her and simply stumble forward..

I decide that I can wait no more and close my eyes and let waves of memories flow through
I see someone who is having time of his life with the group who
ceremoniously name themselves as Bonkers..
someone in library with Hiren and Deven briefing him
about perennial questions in electronics..
someone who is sitting on the stairs with certain Rohan Savla
discussing final day preparation of fest..
someone whose heart is too heavy seeing a movie with everyone at certain Heeral's place..
someone who is too emotional making the farewell day speech..
someone who is merrily singing songs with Nilesh,Sameer and Vithalani..

and the orchestra strikes its coda with memory of a group of guys
going wild down the stairs hearing that they have won a dance competition..

It is a wonderful morning here in Boston.
I feel good today because I have met a wonderful set of people.
I feel good because every turn, every action takes me where I always wanted to be..

Truly -

"Na hai yeh pana.. Na Khona hi hai..
Tera Na hona jane.. Kyun hona hi hai

Tum se hi din hota hai.. Surmaiye shaam aati.. Tum se hi
Har ghadi saans aati hai.. Zindagi kehlati hai.. Tum se hi
Mein kahin bhi jata hoon.. Tumse hi mil jata hoon.. Tum se hi

Tumse hi.. tumse hi.."

Forever indebted,
Chirag